Holidays from a Dog’s Perspective

Holidays from a Dog’s Perspective

WEST CHESTER, PA - Okay. This year I’ve just got to ask! This is my fifth holiday season. That’s 35 holiday seasons in human years. Yet, I’m perplexed. Here’s my quandary.

Routinely, you go away every morning – to do goodness knows what, and I guard the house between my naps. (What can I say? It’s a dog’s life.) Then you’re home eight hours later wanting to play with me and my squeaky toys. So I indulge you until you’re worn out, and we snuggle in front of the television until it’s time to do it all over again.

Now, I think this is a very nice routine. So why do you insist on doing everything differently this one week of the year?

• You’re home all day doing the oddest things, and I can’t sleep.
• You’re gone in the evening, and that’s OUR time.
• You play strange music – some with dogs barking in it. (You don’t laugh when I bark like that!).
• You bring outside things inside. And I must say, I’m confused about the whole “go potty” routine at this point. I “go” under trees outside – why is it different in the house? (By the way, the cat doesn’t know the difference either. He’s hanging on a branch this very minute!)
• You bring out all these shiny, bling bling things that I’m not allowed to sniff or chew.
• The doorbell is driving me nuts. I’d disconnect it if I had a screwdriver!
• And worst of all – you embarrass me. Those reindeer antlers are ridiculous!

Although I don’t understand any of this, I’m willing to compromise and let you proceed with your strange traditions, because I love you so much and am devoted to your happiness. Invite all those people over. Just know they’re going to spill things on the carpet – so don’t blame me for -- well, you know. And, please tell your guests in lieu of hostess gifts you’d like them to go to www.dogtoys.com and bring me cinna-swirls, p-nutty biscottis and chip nips so that you can stop feeling guilty every time you tell me “no” when I beg for a cookie.

For the record, I like the big red paw stocking and all those toys and treats that jolly man in red put in there. He can come back!